Daughter of Water

Lunar New Year

2011-02-06T14:19:00.002+08:00

this year i did not plan to meet up with anybody and just hole up in my house and munch on cookies while growing fat! very productive i must say!

and tis proves fate always leads me to the opposite way...

i met up with Bee, Grandma and tycheo....their frens, our frens...mostly i known them since a few years back but we dont talk due to my unfrenliness....ehehe

saw kimmy after sooo looong!!!!!!!!!!!!!i remember we used to lean back on back at the porch while waiting for our parents and talked.....my lil sister cos both our name has KIm....haha
den yvonne, phoebe, we're in the same town but rarely meet :(

met with xbff wei..hahaha she's getting too hot to handle these days

ooh and the forever MIA Marie....such pleasure :P

i had my first steamboat on 2nd Feb AFTERNOON...and my wet food streak continues well into 4th.....by 4th i totally cant take it anymore and thanks to my awesome saviors, Charm and Rach, i had the bestest most awesome pizza in straits quay!!!!!!!!!i dun remember the name of the restaurant but the pizza was AWESOME!!!

and i usually dont take pizza....totally hate and despise pizza hut! i tink its more accurate to say tat i hate breaded pizza!!i love all thin crust!!!nom nom nom.......:D

i totally miss Shandy.....miss talking to her so much.havent talked to her since form 6? so glad that she is still the same girl i had a crush on in Year One LOL....everyone that's close to me iz in kl....and i'm stranded here in bm....

i really miss all my old pals....they r just no the same as the new ones...cos we had shared so many memories together...we practically grew up together.....and that is a bond that i hope will maintain till the day i dai

as i'm typing this entry i can see the formation of a nother pot of steamboat!urrgghhhh!i cant take it no more!!!

i even cooked maggi yesterday while waiting for lara! that is how much i wanna avoid steamboat. it nice to eat them once in awhile and that's it

not everyday!!!

so after seeing all my darlings grown up so well *sniff* i'm getting sentimental here....i realise i'm still the same and unchanged....i guess its time to really grow up....

gonna meet with new darlings later :P

have an awesome new year peeps

HIM again

2011-01-11T22:29:00.002+08:00

yup....as the title of this post suggested...its him again....

today marks his 1 month and 11 days away from me......on 11 Jan 2011......the 1 month and 11 days is he say wan hor...not me.....so he actually counted.....altho i highly doubt its my business lah......like he's not counting the days he's away from me also....hahaha

today, we argued about the number 1, 3 and 13 for like an hour....this is the extent of our ridicuous conversation.....he's not the type that gave in...(so am i) so we just keep arguing about stupid stuff non-stop until one of us gets too tired to talk....

so yeah the reason for this post is to commemorate us arguing over the most ridiclous topic regarding numbers on 11/01/11, 1 month and 11 days away from each other :D

the great graph

2010-12-19T20:49:00.005+08:00

yep.....came up with a graph after retiring from any forms of math other than simple addition, substraction, multiplication and dividing of no more than 2 integers....*ehem*

the graph above might seem like a simple doodle that involves no calculation or complicated formula, but you are very wrong if you think that way.

this graph is derived based on a very complicated formula with no definite answers!!up till now i am sure nobody can come up with an absolute answer for this...i shall not even dream of trying to answer this question even if i am reincarnated 10 times with all my memories intact!!

this graph is a LEAN and simple representation of my emotional state when i'm with him. yep.....how boring i must be keep harping about one fella over and over and over again...i cant help it i just need to do this cos he's too wonderful a fren ad..ahahahha

as you can clearly observe from the graph, there is no plateau, it is always very high...or very low....you gain and den u loses big!

liking him, i am never bored with feelings.....cos its either i'm up or down...and these ups or down never lasted too long for me to get bored with it :D

he got me smiling and skipping on one day, and send me crying home the next. well, i am really a slave for men.......

i hope, and seriously hoping against hope that this will conclude my journey with him.

i hope i shall have no more post concerning him......

now its time to gather assets!!

The After

2010-12-09T20:40:00.002+08:00

i dunno what is it with you

are u trying to kill me by confusing me to death?

u're so cold to me the last week u r here.....u dunno how much i suffered to see u smile at others while acting nonchalantly at me

den suddenly u apologize

tat really makes me feel like fool.

den u are so warm tat i can feel it even if i'm expelled to saturn!

den u're cold.

and then, i died

Song for a fool → Park Sang Woo

English Translation

I must be like this because I’m a fool
It seems alright even when I’m hurt
Even when I’m teased about my pitiful love
Because I’m a fool beyond help

I was good to her because I wanted to be
I was happy with just that
If she smiles just once
I’m happy with that smile

Thinking “This girl doesn’t have a person she likes”
I simply stay by her side like this
Because this is a love where I’m happy to be giving
I don’t expect anything in return

A place from where I can reach her any time she holds out her hand
A place from where I can visit her any time she calls for me
I’ll stay there without changing
Because I love her

Because she was the one I chose
Even the pain made me happy
If she looks back at me just once
I’m happy with that

Thinking “This girl doesn’t have a person she likes”
I simply stay by her side like this
Because this is a love where I’m happy to be giving
I don’t expect anything in return

A place from where I can reach her any time she holds out her hand
A place from where I can visit her any time she calls for me
I’ll stay there without changing
Because I love her

Until someone else to watch over her in my place arrives
I’ll stay by her side for the time being
Because this is a love where I’m just happy to gaze at her
I don’t need anything in return

So that she can lean on me and rest any time
I’ll always appear the same
Even if she leaves me without saying goodbye
I’ll let her go saying thanks

Because I’m a fool

The Move

2010-11-14T15:36:00.002+08:00

well, well

i have been contemplating what should i do, and i cant believe you race me to it

you did something i wanted but had no courage to do

now i lose

i hope i can hate u

my best mistake

2010-11-06T12:36:00.002+08:00

what we did has cross the line

i dunno what are we anymore

are we just frens?cos we cant be anything else

you'll be leaving, and i dunwanna give u my heart

i need my heart here with me, so i can live, so i can breathe

what we did i do not regret

it was nothing too much, but not too little

i'm still confused, i dont think you do

you make me feel great

yet i know its a mistake

counting the days you'll be gone

its too soon, and i dunno what i'll do

should i stop, and protect myself

or should i let go and hurt myself in the end?

please tell me what to do'

you know i need you

you know it very well

we're just having fun

a fun that will end with a broken heart

and the broken heart will be mine

will you just be another scar?

2010-06-07T00:05:00.002+08:00

very emo recently....dunno y...maybe hormonal imbalance....

my boss and colleugue keep saying my company is a really great place to work in but i just dun see it..maybe it wasn't my passion to work in this industry...maybe i feel my life shud not be lived so boringly...i want an exciting life...

thus i decided...i wanna dwell in photography!!!i took great photos (self proclaimed) ehem....

these were not my best shot...but boleh lah

meromictic lake...without the water...hahaha

blue blue sky.....this is where the lake water mixes with salt water

random pic

lifezzzzz

2010-06-05T00:57:00.002+08:00

i bravely asked my boss when i can get promoted today..hur-hur....i siao liao..:P

i was blog-stalking again and FML wat am i doin with my life?ppl so young young so pretty so know how to ta-pan at 18, when i'm 18 i look like i just crawled out of garbage every morning with no sense of fashion.....and very far from pan leng leng...

now i'm all old and wrinkly its a bit too late to be leng leng cos no make up can cover my WRINKLES!!!!!

lemme sob myself to sleep tonite

sob sob

lets jump

2010-05-02T00:11:00.002+08:00

A wordless post

the beach babes *ehem*

the floating babes *coff coff*

look at skeleton.....doing the pontianak jump LOL

yeay!!!

a wordless post......

jumping is the new obsession...hor

my babies

2010-04-24T00:54:00.015+08:00

look at wat my babies will look like with my gorgeous future hubbies

here's me the woman who will impregnant those babies with my gorgeous hubbies
mama= *smooch smooch*

Hubby Nominees

#1 Lord HeeChul
-the one with the most vibrant personality

this is baby chul-hwa....*kyahhhh aegyo*is this realy my baby?*dreams* i must have done good deeds past life!

and this is chul-hwa when he/she is a little older....(i cant guess my baby's gender LOL)

this is Chul-hwa.....i guess a baby boy?? or girl........

#2 Kim Hyun Joong

-the 4D prince

*
Our baby Hyun-hwa

i think its a boy *gasp* tears of joy!!or can be a girl.....hmnnnn....so pretty...expecially those eyes........

i think he looks like hong ki!!

mr cutie hongki-do u see the resemblance??so pretty!

why all my kids look so androgynous??maybe cos their papa is so so pretty!!prettier than girls...fml=_=

nemind..i shall mate with a masculine male #3 Oh Ji Ho
-smoldering sexinesssssss

and here is our boy Kim-ho

blur blur looking wan hahaha so cute cute cute

and here #4 Angelababy

no i'm not combining both our ovum together....jz curious wat will happen if i taint her perfect face with mine...lets see

Angelababy.....

see her face is magically fatter...O my fat face....

as u can well see there's no jay chou....well u see we ad have a kid if i post it here paparazi will come hounding us...susah...so discreet...LOL

p/s

*disclaimer all these just for fun but i do hope they came true(jz for the guy hubbies)

Testing

2010-04-20T22:38:00.002+08:00

i'm testing my webcam...

i've been posting too frequently lately...

look at me flying hair

i dream of things to be

2010-04-19T23:38:00.010+08:00

i had a dream last night and it was so awesome i had to engrave it forever in my blog for all to see!

i dreamt of my GoD-Heechul and the Anchovy Prince-Eunhyuk!!

compared to him...i'm so fugly TT_TT

soo soooo ugly that even Teddy showed his fury little butt at me!he refuse to look at my horrifying face TT_TT

Heechul is perfect0!

Heenim loves cat

i love dogs..

how different could two soulmate destinied to be with each other but deparated by distance be??

i dream that i was at their concert and suddenly Heechul appeared and seems to be bullying Eunhyuk, so he started chasing Eunhyuk around the stage. Both of them were running and playing on the stage during their concert and totally forgotten about singing!!

how natural!!

ranting about my awesomeness

2010-04-18T01:12:00.004+08:00

just finished my new blog header! i noe yvonne will be impress(right??kekeke)
i noe i am simply awesome *rolls eyes at self*

so i was thinking of getting my hair history in chronological order..u noe from long to short to long again but i realise i do not have as much selca shots of my hair as i possibly wud like...only some here and there.....and some of these pics must be totally destroyed cos if they are exposed will be an embarrassment to the world!!!

and most of these pictures involves me posing like i'm some cover model....ahahahaha my day and night dream since long ago...if only i had better complexion and am taller.....*currently standing at 161.5cm ahem*coff*yvonne short coff*

cant believe i am actually so much taller than she is kekekeke..but our champion in vertical growth is still miss Phoebe, currently standing tall at 173cm and only weighing a meagre 47kg! talk about tall and lightweight!

but i digress....

so the header story continues....since some of these pic i cant remember when it was took cos i look the same in everyone of them since years ago (yes i am ageless like tat), so in the end i just plonk everything in, not in chronological order, but thru when i manage to find those pic in some forgotten folder nestling somewhere in my computer!

and combined with my limited knowledge of PS...i present to u my new header!!!as u can see it was done half heartedly just campak wat i can find and combine into one banner.....zzZZzz...when only will i learn to put some heart and soul into thing i wanna do......

so the end result is not tat bad right?

again i manage to out-awesome myself...muaaahahaha

rose an jasmine

2010-04-17T23:45:00.001+08:00

this is a pot of rose and jasmine tea.

look nice rite ahaha

when we met

2010-04-13T22:30:00.003+08:00

guess which is taken 3 years ago and which is taken recently??time is really very cruel, playing on us like that. how i wish time wud stop at a time where the worst thing to cry for is when ur frens ignores u or when u fare poorly in exam.

have we changed??

or remain oh-so-young(not a korean name) ahaha...

lame lame

the little nyonya

2009-11-20T20:20:00.002+08:00

been watching the singaporean show The Little Nyonya recently and its pretty interesting.....

and suddenly it hit me...my late grandma used to wear a lot of sarong and kebaya when she was younger......and she wore it so often it just seems to be normal for me....and i never give much tot into it i just assume old ppl likes kebaya and sarong...

and i already know for a fact that my great grandma was a nyonya......
but i never relate the obvious fact tat was my grandma was sort of a nyonya too....

which means i am 1/8 a nyonya tooo

hmnnnn

this post just proves how bored i am

my time with teddy

2009-11-12T21:46:00.002+08:00

introducing u to Teddy....

i used to dislike poodle.....but teddy is too cute....and i guess toy poodle is different from the obnoxious poodle??hahahaha

ahhh LOVE does comes in many forms, shapes and sizes....

one day

2009-10-25T20:03:00.002+08:00

if one day,
i lost my sight,
and lost my hearing...

will life be better for me??

because at last i can be free from all the criticism i dont deserve

i can stop hearing hurtful words being thrown at me for no reason

i can starts to rebuild any self worth and confidence if i have anymore left

2009-10-20T20:13:00.000+08:00

two more months to go and the year ends.....again.....

my name

2009-10-11T14:27:00.002+08:00

my name is your man

the day i met you is the day i was born

you are my type

my hobby is waiting for you

my specialty is loving only you

my favourite thing is you

altho i know nothing, but i am a man who knows how to love

awwww.....somehoe i feel this is very romantic altho ist so corny

2009-10-05T22:28:00.002+08:00

feeling rather horible right now

i am entering the stage where any minute now i'll be falling sick...hahahah

this is the result of walking bravely under rain w/o umbrella, dripping wet and did not shower till a few hours later...

i was really trying to be sick.......

mc is better than work right??

happinesS

2009-09-28T23:34:00.000+08:00

i'm a happy girl right now

will be lonely this weekend

5 years

2009-09-20T19:23:00.004+08:00

I stopped crying 5 years ago. today i cried again. but it was a different kind of tears. today i was happy. i felt free and appreciated. i felt joy.

yes. today i shed tears of joy. today i knew that i did not waste my youth. it was all worth it

my memory used to be grey with patches of darkness. today, the shadow has gone.

i'm happy to like you afterall.

thank you

and

good bye

ownership

2009-09-19T03:32:00.000+08:00

this morning....3a.m

i owned a human being

but that's not what i want

ache

2009-09-08T00:17:00.003+08:00

what will you do when someone showed you a piece of their past that you don't wish to know??

and the fact that you will never measure up to that past............

its just heartbreaking

i smell?

2009-08-29T20:11:00.000+08:00

trouble??

i'm creating trouble for myself

such a wonderful soul

CONFUSED

2009-08-28T00:01:00.002+08:00

life is so frustrating

especially when everything is so uncertain

i'm taking a road i've never travelled before and everything is so confusing and new and exciting and disappointing and annoying......

let it end soon, please....

in my favour

789

2009-08-07T23:36:00.005+08:00

today

a collegue came in, smile, looked at me and asked if i'm local

i said yes

he said i don't looked local

he said i looked like i am from Ipoh(he answered this after thinking for quite some time)...usually i get a lot of comment like Indo, Thai etc....but Ipoh is the 1st time

i asked why

"its the place with most pretty girls"

PENGSAN

"-_-

the hottest fashion item right now

deng deng deng

Muka Kecik

2009-08-03T23:24:00.003+08:00

Today, a staff asked if all Convent girls has the same type of face...the muka kecik kecik

i was so hAPpY!!!hahaha!!

someone actually said my jupiter was small!!!!!

ahh~~The good old day when we were so pure, innocent and naive to the world!!!

lets vote who has undergone the most drastic changes over the years and who had remain the same....

Most changes nominee

1)ANGSF

2)LEEFH

3)YEWYW

The Non-changes nominee

1)CHONGSY

2)LEEKH

3)ANNEMCI

my day

2009-07-31T21:17:00.001+08:00

1st week--------6.20a.m

2nd week-------6.35a.m

3rd week-------6.55a.m

i am hopeless....................

i think hairsylist has some kind of dress code...

tiny shirt, mayb with a stylish jacket

skinny or baggy jeans tat shows half your underwear

and a talkative nature

a very hot day

2009-07-20T20:09:00.003+08:00

Ahhhh~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i'm feeling warm these days
the temperature keeps rising..when will it stop??

this is what you get when a fish ball took a pic for u...

my philosophy

2009-07-12T14:42:00.000+08:00

true true

kekekekekkekekekekekekekekke

is it true??

2009-06-30T20:54:00.001+08:00

Be who you are and say what you feel,

because those who mind don’t matter and

those who matter don’t mind.

-
Dr. Seuss

2009-06-29T20:49:00.002+08:00

why do i insist to stay in a field which has low pay and long irregular working hours??

plus to advance u need to further ur studies and research...there is no static knowlegde in science. every seconds some old hyphothesis is being proven or some established theories bunked......

why do i wanna stay in this field??

i really have no idea

right now i envy those with high basic pay withhout any experience.......

why am i so daft??

Do not stand at my grave and weep

2009-06-20T15:52:00.000+08:00

Do not stand at my grave and weep

I am not there; I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow,

I am the diamond glints on snow,

I am the sun on ripened grain,

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,

I am not there; I did not die.

by Mary Frye

2009-06-18T14:41:00.006+08:00

Happy Birthday....

Hope u can forgive me...

MISS

YOU

tomoro is

3

Oppa

2009-06-16T15:05:00.002+08:00

This is my beloved oppa

Name: Kim HeeChul
Nicknames:Heenim, Cinderella, Flower, Kim Cherry, Kim Pink, Kim Moodswing

does one of the nicknames sound familiar to you??
hehe

he looked just absolutely dashing....Heaven's present for me when i'm so bored...-_-

my cute little sunflower!!

i want the sunflower too!!!

3 a.m

2009-06-14T03:10:00.001+08:00

i have been accused of not updating!!!its not fair.when update u guys dun update

and now more outrageous!changing blogs and not informing me!

simply outrageous

a broken jar

2009-06-08T23:23:00.002+08:00

i felt very bad right now. i broke a glass jar that has been in my family for more than a decade.......the glass jar itself is just a regular glass jar that was once in the market for MILO and has since ceast operation many years ago and i bloody broke it!

i know there's no reason for me to feel so low just because i broke some old glass jar! but it's breakage signifies to me more than a piece of broken debris.....an end of an ERA

the ERA when i was still young and foolish and can afford to make mistakes and someone else will clear up for me.....

the broken jar means something from the past is no more present and in the future it will have no more existence....it's existence will slowly be forgotten, contained as long as human memory can.....

when i broke the jar, i somehow think of my Dad. why? the jar has been with us for a long time and these time includes those we spent together....

so another object that tied us together vanished....because of my slippery fingers

off sense

2008-12-19T01:05:00.002+08:00

i read sense and sensibility the second time and i still dislike edward ferrars.....

why do i suddenly picked up an old classic to read??well, i have to admit i am inspired by Twilight. LOL...i know it doesn;t make sense but i do remember that Bella mentioned briefly about there's so many Edwards in classics that i decided to read them again...

about Edward Ferrars, in my opinion he is so uselessly coward and thus do not deserve at all Elinor's love. i cannot begin to explain how much i detest Elinor in her agreeing to accept Edward after he was dumped! like hello??

he did not consider your feelings at all when he was allc"lovey-dovey" with Lucy, right???and u're kinda desperate to just zanely accept him. it just shows she is too desperate, that marianne is getting all the attention from some of the most eligible bachelors and she was...sidetrack...

and after completing Twilght online, i decided that i am still very much addicted to the series and would love hard copies of all my wonderful beloved books.....
christmas present???hint hint

anoter year is coming to an end. this has been a wonderful year. with many wonderful promises that do not really lived up in the end....

i must say goodbyes to so many unfinished conquest...

goodbye to my crush for a boy so young.....

goodbye to all spirits in getting all lovey dovey in campus

i will still held the same resolution as i had made almost every year and i hope am slowly achieving them no matter how slow the process might be

1) getting taller (still crossing my fingers on this)

2)smiling more often

3)more courtesy and friendly

4)more hardworking and serious in my undertakings

5)forgetting the past and embracing the future

6)treat my friends kindly

and i hope the etar shall end well

i shall seize the day, live everyday to the fullest and not waste my life on regrets and ifssssss

2008-12-07T18:30:00.002+08:00

i am so addicted to Twilight! so addicted to Edward! he's like the most charming once-a-human being!!!!!

other than my obsession with anything other than reality(hey u can't blame me, my reality sucks) i have been doing my lab project with no progress at all! its's really getting frustrating because everyone is moving forward and me?i am just stuck there not moving an inch and seriously don't know anything at all. this is bad. i've never felt more blank about my work. i just perform what i am told blindly, and its not good when u turn into a robot...

sigh....

there goes my holiday it seems. i barely rested a day. everyday i'll fly to my lab, hoping that i have progress....but with every little progress i've made, i slip backward a few more steps....i am bloody jinx

foolish Jill story

2008-11-25T23:47:00.002+08:00

Jill was having problems on her 1st day at her part time. she promised her friend that she will substitute her for the weekend and that weekend is also Jill's 1st time as a promoter. but she was already having dificulty. the guard refused to let Jill enter, saying there's no authorization and so on. so Jill waited for her supervisor to arrive. as her supervisor was taking quite some time to arrive, Jill decided that she would make the time usefula and walked around.

when she arrive back at the checkpoint, she was greeted by an angry supervisor. beside her was a rather cool looking boy. "oh boy" she thought to herself, this seems to be a beginning of a very bad day. she was allowed to enter soon after. the boy had troubles for he wanted to keep his bag at the counter which the guard doesn't seem very happy about. so Jill enter the premise 1st, and waited for the boy at the entrance.

"are you waiting for me?"asked the boy when he saw Jill standing there. Jill nodded and they both walked together to their counter.

soon, the boy and Jill were freinds. the boy will often visit Jill at her counter. Jill felt happy for her 1st day at work, she had met a new friend. they went for break together with another girl whom they just met and talked for 2 hours. after that they met up more often just to laze around. as their friendship grew, Jill learnt that the boy has very good voice.

he would sing and Jill will be very happy listening to it. his voice was so angelic, so calming and Jill had fallen for his voice. soon after, they lose touch, but Jill saw his msn so she added him, happy knowing she can still keep in touch with the boy with the wonderful voice.

the boy's personanality online shocked Jill because she never thought he would be able to talk like that. they chatted a few times, and by then Jill has had a crush on the boy. she made her happy and she likes him. her fondness for him only grew as the day passed.

Jill went back to school and lose contact with the boy because he was never online anymore
Jill was sad.she still talkes about her cute boy with wonderful voice form time to time.

one day while working part time, she saw her boy again. she was beyond excited. no words can describe her feelings that day. her heart fluttered, endorphines rushed through her veins like the strongest current could have, and she was on cloud nine.

she only saw him, and not the girl beside him. her friend prophesized that she might be his girl because she doesn't look like his sister, which she has seen before.

immediately, like Hiroshima and Nagasaki after the bomp dropped, her heart sank beyond the deepest trench, and shattered into a gazillion of dust. she was immediately shrouded by glooming black sky, with crows and thunder clouds screaming for apocalypse to arrive. her soul felt like it had just been stepped by a giant elephant and kicked by an antelope.

when the boy passed again, Jill's friend teased the boy about his alledge girlfriend. he deny and said it was his sister. Jill was estatic! but still, the boy talked to her friend more then her which mads her sad. but later the boy walked over and asked Jill for her number. Jill was so nervous that her body trembled and her voice shivered while giving him her numbers.

Day in and day out, she dream of the boy calling her, or at least messaging her, but the boy never did. slowly, hope drained out of Jill's spirit.

one day, the boy suddenly called Jill out of the blue. Jill do not have time to react because she don't have the boy's number, but at last, at the most unpredicted moment, he called.
................................................................................................................................
Jill couldn't stop grinning and laughing the entire time they chatted. she immediately forgets about her incoming exam due the day after. all she could think of was the boy, how sweet, how cute, how charming the boy was.

Jill promised the boy she would visit him at his part time work place. but after that call, the boy did not really keep in touch with Jill, except an odd good night message. this makes Jill kinda pissed because she was already dreaming of the boy and he did not do anything.

but Jill was also to be blamed. Jill too did not do anything to for the boy.

Jill was a conservative person. Jill always believed that the guy should take action. so all she will do is wait. is this wrong??

.............................................................

a love to fight for is a love worth it!

2008-11-07T23:46:00.003+08:00

its been awhile since i'm here

today is the 7th of november, the eve of my birthday. nothing spectacular happened, it is like all the other days in my life, empty and uneventful. i really wanna just sleep through my birthday, i really wanna escape the day. its more like i refuse to grow up. the years are adding onto my life and i have not done or achieved anything spectacular.

i'm still the same, lazy and not willing to sacrifice to achieve anything. even in my studies, i'll discount myself and give myself the minimal amount of days for study. what did i do with my extra days??i have no idea. i have led a life without purpose all these while, till the extent that when something does happen i'll be surprised myself.

i'm a person with split personality. one is burried deep inside me, another is the person that's my shell. the person inside me wanted to change, wanted to accomplish and wanted to take risk. the person inside me is crying, is vulnerable and insecure.

but this person is deep inside me, in the middle of a maze with tangling and scattered with broken dreams, shattered hopes and surrounded by a thick smoke of emptiness.

the other me is the mirror of the other me. whatever the imprisoned me wanted to do, it'll try to oppose to it, by giving lame excuses and playing on the insecurities that the imprisoned me felt. usually, the other me won.

every YES that i wanted to say naturally when it reaches my mouth it'll become a NO. every confessions are turned to ignorance. every truthful admiration are turn into frowns that will makes me feel guilty. how many opportunities have i lost because of this??

but i do not blame this other me. she only wanted to protect me, shield me from further pain.

as i'm turning a year older, i wish that i could loosen up, be more accepting and more grateful for all the things that are happening. i'll try to keep my temper and i'll open up a little to the world.

this is a rather sombre pre-birthday post, thus i shall post some happy contradictory pictures!!

pre-birthday celebration at Chillis and a pre-birthday movie Tropic Thunder

i wished i could own the world

HADYAI

2008-10-04T13:49:00.007+08:00

hadyai...
what do i think of hadyai...the whole thailand for tat matter??

1st of all......motorcyclist without helmet...kah kah ka,,dunno why...its kinda a symbol! and yes...i see many motorcyclist without helmet!
a lot of cheap stuff(check)
a lot of transsexuals(check)
a lot of hookers(check)
and a lot more.

i'm super touch by ther patriotism...their love for their king!!his majesty's pics are everywhere and u can see many flags tooo many imported cars...mostly are flashing new summo...so jeles...and many cars has this stickers on..(i love my king)

imagine this on malaysian's car...(i love agong)agong has another meaning in hokkien...LOL

me in the Van with San San

it was very tiring to sit for 4 hours in the van.....after we passed Padang Besar immigartion, we went through Sadao, den Hadyai.
for lunch,

some of the pics of our food tat i manage to take before they get savaged by hungry tourist

thai style

pork leg..the meat is amazingly soft

the pomfret....the aunty told us will prepare small portion and she gave us such a huge fish!

the flesh is smooth!but the gravy a tad spicy

kang kung with sambal...salty!

the thai tomyam....DISAPPOINTMENT!i tot the soup will be clear, with a piercing spiciness and the right amount of sourness and saltiness...mayb wrong shop.

the aunty brought us an extra plate of dish tat we did not order, or we tot we had canceled...the "or chean".....i tot ok la...miscommunication problem, but she did this to the other table as well, she gave them Thai Kerabu...

i think its done intentionally....

cis

2008-09-21T20:00:00.003+08:00

i have a test on tuesday, which will affect my final exam alot cos its 40% and i haven't even seriously started reading yet!

i know coming home is a bad idea, plus nowadays i'm addicted to the games in fb.....how can this be??????

pauline suddenly smsed me the other day, asking if i want a MAN...wt!!!!??????????
tat question was so funny cos it popped out of nowhere and she just suddenly thought of me......*shakes head*

it makes me feel weird for the rest of the day, do i want a man??what if i want a man??if i accepted the man, what will happen??LOL

actually my mind fastforwarded to the day i asked my MAN to give me alowances...LOL LOL....den suddenly i can live with a MAN in my life.....hahahahaha

right now, i am busy with my final year project(ok really just wasting my time) but spending time doing something that turns out to be nothing in the end is pretty exhausting kay! and as scientific research goes, it need a lot of re-search.....a lot of repeating and adjusting before we can get a decent result....

let's see how long the impatient me can stand....

right now my mind is filled with shopping in Hadyai(did i spelled it correctly?) despite the ruckus and chaos a lil north to the place....what if i never came back???
at least i spent my last hours shopping??hahaha...such a bimbotic thought..

no no

my last hour must be spend meaningfully, like i finally solve the question to genome mystery!but then, at that time i would love to live, to see how my great idea is accepted and ppl from across the globe will stare at me in awe..saying

"she's such a genius""good head""amazing insights" and mayb an odd "she's the hottest" wont be that bad...:P

i'll be at the same rank with Einstein muahahaha

i am such a good dreamer that i deserve an award for it!

2008-09-06T18:07:00.002+08:00

i've been sitting alone, outside trying to connect to my uni's wifi and its been an uphill battle.it cannot afford a 10 minutes decent connection without disconnecting

someone commented i'll look better if my nose brigde is higher. i couldn't agree more!i have this chinese nose with almost non-exixtent nose brigde....which makes any photo looks ugly. my nose is just protruding hill....

i want rhinoplasty!!

-------------------------------------------------------

this is a pointless post....see how uninteresting my life is. nothing worth mentioning here....sigh

2008-08-21T20:32:00.002+08:00

i admit when it comes to money....it matters a lot to me
for me, if no money kenot be happy. now i'm not saying that money is everything, it is not and kenot be everything
but at least it can makes me happier than having no money at all

"money is not everything,

but without it you can do nothing"

so i always thought i would put money first before love....how foolish i am. mayb i have been out of love for the longest time, and have conveniently forgotten how loving someone can be, but recently something makes my heart beats again(altho this cannot be considered to be love), i realise, i will throw away everything(not clothes unless u perverted monkeys are thinking along that line) just to cuddle with him....

ah

the feeling of being in love

how fresh, how intoxicating it is

p/s: i'm not in love in case u're wondering

2008-08-18T15:38:00.002+08:00

my final year project has started!

my senior expect me to be in the lab all the time with him, looking at plates after plates of bacteria, making medium and streaking more plates.......its so tiresome!

not to mention boring!

i dunno how much longer i can stand cooping in the lab the whole day doing abosolutely nothing but staring into empty plates...its really driving me insane...i need outdor activities!i need fresh air!i need to see green trees!!!!!!

i had two kebabs, one for luch and another for dinner.it was soooOooooo good!totally mouth watering!and not to mention i was down with a sore throat and felt a bit feverish the day i decided to had this calorie oily food...but totally worth it

my uni convocation just ended....that was it...3 full years(for some, mayb 4)...all ended....the day u receive that scroll, will u regret that u haven't done enough?wish u'll get better grades?or thought that ur uni life was the best time of ur life??

i certainly hope what i am doing now will not resulted in a deep regret in my future..i must try to get better grades, i certainly dunwan to be disappointed on when i get my result.
so what if ur result is just a piece of paper and may have to use in ur future undertakings??

self satisfaction matters most!i will be utmostly satisfied if i have good grades that i can remember....good frens that i will miss and good time for the good memory....

i have wasted 2 good years of my uni doing absolutely nothing marvellous that will be a nostalgic memory for me.....i have another year to go and i certainy hope it'll be better....

wat should i do after i graduated??i have no idea

who will come see me when i graduated?will i receive any pretty flowers or cute teddy bears from frens or relatives??
or will i be alone??

what i do now will proably has an effect on my future

i always tell myself to change but nothing much has been done....

2008-08-07T23:42:00.002+08:00

what do u do when a fren turn into the most irratating person on earth and u just can't live peacefully with her around and yet u can't really shake her off cos in truth she did help u a lot and u are thankful, but there's always a limit to everything...
she is being rejected by so many people that u felt paiseh to be seen with her........
i dunno lar

i'm such an evil mean bitch

2008-07-02T19:28:00.000+08:00

i killed my crown today

now i'm just an ugly, hideously mutilated and deformed peasant

2008-06-28T20:15:00.005+08:00

o my darling
o my darling

o my darling cute JUSTIN
rosy lips and super long legs

o my darling cute JUSTIN!

when i saw you, across the room,
i can't get my eyes off you
at last you noticed
and make the effort
to come by my side

but you were so slow
and were so shy
makes me wanna, scream and die

but in the end, you
had the courage
to come and talk to me

so i'm happieeee
so so happieeee
i get to know you, cute JUSTIN
but i'm furious, and not so happy
when i didn't get your number

and it seems like
very seems like
u were probably attached
cos a cute guy, just like you
wont ever

be mine............................

p/s; sing to the tune of clementine

2008-06-15T17:15:00.002+08:00

i had a back massage!!!!

its at Danai Spa in G Hotel....and of cos i din pay for it lar...poor ppl like me can only depends on voucher!!!!
i had the Detoxifying Back massage which is more like the Intoxicating back massage cos my back was pretty achy after the massage.....................

the masseur saw my naked body..sob sob........rugi deeeee............................
the ambience...well its only so so.....my fren's room....well he has always been lucky all his life....contains a bath tub and a personalized shower room....mine just a dim room with nothing.....................so..........
the massage itself was....OKay lar.....no bones broken.
the first few minutes was pretty tensed...i was fighting the urge to laugh because she was massaging my body and its kinda ticklish.....i must say...a desire well fought.....!!!

after that went to eat noodles...at some restaurant...the noodle was great!it has to be lar...since we drive all the way to penang just to eat it...price is pretty reasonable too....!!and its super large amount.totally worth the amount of money!!

i have to force myself into finishing that gigantula bowl!but the noodles was nice!!and you can pick the shape and type of noodle you want!i pick the triangle noodle because of the reccomendation of the waiter....me and my fren was having a hard time deciding so he suggested triangle noodle and i agreed..anything out of the ordinary will do for me:P

and the noodle is not exacly triangle lar...its still noodle like...long...just that its not ur typical rounded or flat noodles....its triangle!can u imagine what i said??very hard to describe lar

and i found out a rather shocking news...my nerdy-geeky coursemates goes clubbing..frequently.............i am damn beh syok with this lor.....i havent been near a club for years.............

ok moving on

story when i'm in the mood to tell
LOL

neeway i'm sick!

2008-06-11T19:06:00.002+08:00

what my fren said today shock me....

the reason is this

i used to have a crush on my coursemate sometime ago, which i myself has forgotten when..............but during the period when i like him so much, i always look/stare/gaze at him.............and this looking cum staring is quite obvious because i often sit in front and he waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back behind.

so mayb, perhaps....ok who am i kidding, his fren knew about this because i make it so obvious....and that is the most embarassing period in my uni life............but after one month or so, i got over him and look for greener pasteur...

so this year, i found out he has a gf.i know his gf..........and he is attached during my foolish crush period on him........

i tot oh well, i am not popular, my presence is invisible.....so no one will notice

but they do...............................

i so low profile ler...........

malu............

my secret is half exposed

2008-06-05T20:51:00.003+08:00

i received news about the petrol hike at 7.30p.m. and drive to the nearest petrol station, which is like 5 minutes drive away from my house. its less than 1 km....mayb around 500m?and its the longest 500m....i spent almost 50 minutes just to get my petrol pump and another 50 minutes to leave the petrol station.

scene at petrol station

many were annoyed and pissed including yours truly.i'm hungry, thirsty and hot in the car. the exit and entrance were block by cars coming in to get their oil.two way street turn into one. ppl were using their horn like nobody's business.

but there's is a good side to every disaster. ppl started to show their concern side. like the many good samaritans who brave the rain to guide the cars, the good uncle and malay lady who came out of their car to warn the auntie not to go any further or she'll am into my car....i was just siting in the car staring at the auntie's UNSER as she inch closer.....carzy woman...

it was an experience....

and it was a horny, steamy night.

the air was hot,

my vision was clouded,

the smell of oil and fumes

intoxicating my nose

cars were kissing,

everyone was out

venging their frustration

we all share the same passion

man and woman

strangers in the beginning

both sharing the same goal

trying to reach the same destiny

with anger and desperation

woman and man honking away

the cool droplets from above

only added to frustration inside

steamy and hot

that was the night

Scorpio Love Horoscope

2008-06-02T19:00:00.003+08:00

Scorpios are very passionate, sexy and loyal in love. Capricorn is the best match for Scorpio while Aries is the worst. They can exercise a great deal of control over their emotions but when it comes to love and hate, it’s extremes for them, either they love intensely or hate intensely.
p/s; my first love is Aries.......sob sob..my heart still aches when i think of him

When a Scorpio zodiac sign folk spots a person he/she is attracted to, the first impression is the one that always lingers. Scorpio can easily sense dishonesty and at times this may not be comfortable for the partner. Scorpios are strong-willed and possessive of their partners. They can be exceedingly seductive and look at sex as a competitive game. They have a very strong libido that’s legendary(LOL HAHAHAHAHA). Variety is important in love-making.

Scorpio Aries Love Horoscope Matching
Aries tends to be casual about relationships which is something that possessive Scorpio just can’t stand. Cancer, Pisces, Virgo are also good matches.

Scorpio Pisces Romantic Bonds
Scorpio and Pisces are both intuitive and highly emotional signs and these traits will help them get along well. They will be strongly attracted towards each other. Pisces will lend a sympathetic ear to Scorpio which will be like soothing balm to Scorpio who generally faces a lot of pain and inner conflict. Scorpio is a highly sexual being whereas Pisces is more gentle and romantic, yet this is one area where the opposites will truly attract.

Scorpio Cancer Zodiac Match
Cancer and Scorpio will have an intense bond and will cling to each other. They will enjoy sporting activities together. They will have a psychic bond between them helping them understand the other’s feelings. They can arouse each other at the drop of a hat and sex will be explosive. Possessiveness could become a problem in this relationship.

Scorpio Capricorn Match
Capricorn and Scorpio share the traits of being ambitious and serious about handling responsibilities which helps them complement each other. When they work together, they can achieve great financial success. They have a good chemistry. It will be a fun relationship full of froth and liveliness. Both share unusual interests and will frequent discuss artistic, religious and psychological topics.

Scorpio Virgo Romance
Scorpio and Virgo will share the same intensity of emotion and the urge to analyze each other. Romance between the two will be the stuff that legends are made of. The sexual compatibility will be good too. They understand the changing moods of each other and bring out the fun, joy and laughter in life. This will be a lasting relationship if they don’t fall into the pitfall of taking each other for granted.

Scorpios if handled the right way can be wonderful partners though a trifle too possessive.

its no coincidence that most of my close besties are from these few zodiac signs!!!!!!!!!!!!

believe it or not!

hardcore scorpio!

2008-05-23T19:03:00.002+08:00

today went to Winter Warmers in Sunway Carnival with my frens.................
we start off with appetisers.salad..(no pic)
let's go backward... introducing dessert 1st!!!! the dessert!

mango egg pudding..........

somehow i felt fat eating this...

den lets move on to my drink!!!

my chocolate mint coffee....

no complaint but shud have ask for tea....

and last the main course......................

my chicken spagetti........its delicious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm going to work during weekends for two consecutive weeks in tesco, pg island. i know i am absolutely crazy....but i'm broke!

next week i have to take an off day from my practical.....felt so guilty about it........but i termade a promise already so have to go....................................................

i actually got complained about my gloomy looks and depressing aura....................the lab staff actually asked another lab staff y i look so gloomy....she asked if i have any problem because i look like i have lots of them................sigh........and i tot i am cheery enough.......

the despatch uncle comment tat "jamie is a city girl while TAY(my fren) is a kampung girl...i dunno y he comment like tat...altho its funny but obviously i am the KAMPONG GIRL.....

i am the kampong girl!!!

warning-whiner post ahead

2008-05-17T16:16:00.002+08:00

i know this is old story but i just can't help it!

why am i so poor?????

i was talking to my frens yest and realise they are very loaded and still worry about money. they find part time to work on top of the allowance they get. and i realise i'm really a very lazy person. i don't even bother to look for part time jobs and dream about money falling from sky.and all i do everyday is blame everyone around me for the living conditions i'm being put through. i've missed out a lot of opportunity because i chose to mop around other than take action. i don't put effort into anything but hope for a tripplefold reward. i took life too easily.

i'm 22 already and what skills do i have??
i don't know how to cook a proper meal, i can't bake, i am bad in housework, i don't have any valid working experience, my results in sch is not very good either and my interpersonal skills are in the drain....i suck in everything i do yet thinks i'm good in everything.

i've not been living.

for the past 22 years i've not live one day. and life has been patient for me. life has been kind to me. and all i do is complain and whine all day and night. but what did i ever do for my life?i don't appreciate my life enough. i'm not thankful for my life. life is always unlocking new doors for me. but it is i who refuse to open it. and i still blame life.

.....................................................................................................................

the hosp staff kept asking about my family condition. to be honest this is one questin i hate dthe most in my entire life. mayb its the way i look and behave, most ppl would think tat i'm a spoilt, airheaded rich kid. but i am not.mayb i am spoilt and sometimes ask the stupidest questions, but tat's it. no money for this kid. and i am spoilt in a diff kinda way. i am spoilt because i rebel too much and now i rebel to everything.

2008-05-09T18:09:00.003+08:00

what's up yo???

i've been doing my practical in the patology department for a full 5 days now and well, its not as bad as i thought it would be......
Though, i still can't tolerate the fact that i have to wake up before 7 every morning, drive for more than half an hour to seberang jaya, braving the early morning traffic to go work for FREE.the part i hated most is the F.R.E.E part...at least pay my petrol fees or give us free lunches lar!

the first day, i was sent to the BlOOd BaNk.....what can i say???a lot of blood lar....they tested for the blood group and Rhesus factor here....and there's actually more sub blood group...and blood transfusion is more complicated than i thought. but i spent most of the time there talking and joking with my fellow collegues.....they don't really let us do anything because every step determines someone's else's life...cannot play play....

second day i migrate to HaEmatoLogy LAb....well, its quite fun there...blood from the wards or from outpatients will be sent here to be tested for their clotting factor or to have full blood count etc.....so i dealt with a lot of blood....but the job is easy cos most of them comes readily in test tubes...we just need to label, key in the data and run the test using machines!i was so excited at one time when i saw a BIOHAZARD label on the form...it means the blood should be handled with care because there is infective particles in the blood....such as bacteria or viruses...and i saw they labeled RETROVIRUS...and HIV belongs to RETROVIRUS!!!!
so i'm like W.O.W...i'm actually dealing with HIV contaminated blood, which is kinda cool...hahaha...i admit this is a very twisted kinda cool....

i even tested urine.....i never expected urine to come in so many colours...muahahaha...there's clear transparent, yellow, light yellow, dark yellow, bloody yellow, orange, brown, bloody brown...and much more....wakakaka.....
and the stench....phew...can die man....so teruk some of the smell is so strong!!!!!and imagine some just freshly peed into the bottle....and i have to touch the bottle with the warmness of the urine inside.................'

VOMIT

VOMIT

VOMIT

and some even have stools aka SHIT....have to test the shit lor....but just once lar.....really disgusting teruk!!!!!!!!!!!i'm worried about the other departments where stools will always be sent there for testing......i'll be going there and i'll die there
so far...
i'm tired once i reach home and felt sleepy by 8p.m....
next time work d no life lor..........so robotic....

D0G

2008-05-04T20:21:00.002+08:00

i have a small dog tat suddenly appear in my house. according to my mom, its my neighbour's dog tat she doesn't want anymore because she has some problem with her fur.....so my mom took her in and take care of her till she grew to become a super active and adorable little doggie....

she loves to jump around, and teases the old dog. and this is a dog that can climb well...i mean really well....she can climb into my house's fence, which is about my waist level...and she is something of my knee's height!

so she grew, and grew into this cute doggie....and that's when the problem started. the neighbor who gave the dog to us frequently find my dog...this causes my dog to scream in excitement........which disturbs the other neighbours...ofcourse that neighbour with the thick face claimed back my dog....so my mom return the dog to tat neighbour....

under her care, the dog now has ugly fur with skin problem....and has become ugly......

den one day, she came back...a few days ago actually, first she tried our back door....she just sleeps there but i did not feel like opening the door for her...well she is somebody's else dog now...then, she started to climb into my house!!!!!i was pretty puzzled by how she came in, and at last i saw her in action....she is a spider dog!
threw her out a few times, lock her outside ad shoo her away as we could, but she somehow managed to climb back in.....

i felt sorry for her....she totally loves our house(or was it my fat old dog) and all we did was chase her out..........so whn she saw us, she kinda hid....still in our house....

so right now i have totally no idea what to do with her....my brother has lost all the affection for her after she chewed his expensive shoes, my mother is never one with any feelings of attachment to little animals........

so what shall i do...??

just let her be and see how will she be treated.

28 things MOST girls don know bout guys

2008-04-28T01:38:00.002+08:00

--guys hate sluts even thoughthey have sex with them!(oh yeah..you're not "popular" ifyou've slept with more than 6guys..you're a HOE)

--Guys may be flirting around all daybut before they go to sleep, theyalways think about the girl they trulycare about.

--Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

--Guys will do anything just to getyou to notice him

--Guys hate it when you talk aboutyour ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest.

--Boyfriends need to be reassuredoften that they're still loved.

--Don't talk about your guy friends toyour boyfriend.

--Guys get jealous easily.

--Guys are more emotional than they'dlike people to think.

--Giving a guy a hanging messagelike "You knowwhat?!..uh...nevermind.." would makehim jump to a conclusion that is farfrom what you are thinking. And he'llassume he did something wrong andhe'll obsess about it trying to figureit out.

--Guys are good flatterers whencourting but they usually stammer whenthey talk to a girl they really like.--A usual act that proves that the guylikes you is when he teases you.

--Guys love you more than you lovethem if they are serious in yourrelationships.

--Guys think WAY too much. One smallthing a girl does, even if she doesn'tnotice it can make the guy think aboutit for hours, trying to figure outwhat it meant.

--Guys seek for advice from girls notother guys. Because most guys thinkalike, so if one guy's confused, thenwe're all confused.

--When a guy asks you to leave himalone, he's just actuallysaying, "Please come and listen to me."

--If a guy starts to talk seriously,listen to him. It doesn't happen thatoften, so when it does, you knowsomething's up.--If your best guy friend seems toavoid you or is never around whenyou're with your boyfriend, he'sprobably jealous and likes you.

--When a guy tells you that you arebeautiful, don't say you aren't. Itmakes them want to stop telling youbecause they don't want you todisagree with them.

--When a guy looks at you for longerthan a second, he's definitelythinking something.

--Guys don't like girls who punchharder than they do.

--A guy has more problems than you cansee with your naked eyes.

--Don't be a snob. Guys can beintimidated and give up easily.

--Guys talk about girls more thangirls talk about guys.

--Guys hate rejection, but they hatebeing led on even more.

--If you are going to reject a guy,just do it. Don't say they are like abrother or just good friends, it justhurts even more. Tell them that youaren't interested in a relationshipand they will respect you.

--Guys really think that girls arestrange and have unpredictabledecisions and are MAD confusing butsomehow are drawn even more to them.

--When a guy sacrifices his sleep andhealth just to be with you, he reallylikes you and wants to be with you asmuch as possible.

2008-04-27T21:06:00.002+08:00

u know what i most beh syok about?younger ppl being more successful...especially those ppl whom u tot must be older cos they have so much more and den the awful truth hit u....they r younger!!!!!very not fair!!anyway i like nira she's totally hot...sigh...wish jie jie could grow like tat too...muahahahaha....

but wat you wanted but did not grow last time would not grow now either....but the what u don't grow last time would prob grow now....scarily fast summo....

i was looking through my pic and i am a real ugly kid last time....so ugly tat most adults would hate me...i have total proof for tat...
there's this auntie(i remember she kinda fat wan lo) and she fetches me to and fro kindie when i was 6 years old...ya i only have one year of kindergarden and am awfully glad of it!!!!kids nowadays are being enrolled into nursery at such young age!!!my niece went into a nursery-come-kindie at age 3....still scary for me cos she was so young and she has to study!

kids are suppose to be worriless and have fun all the time, being showered with love and care and shud be free to explore their surroundings and learn things by experience...not stuck into a classroom lor....how many more years they have to recite theri ABCs....last time A is apple...now A is aeroplane!!!!

Aeroplane leh....last time i think i dunno how to spell aeroplane lor.....mayb until like standard 3??no idea also....

ok back to the fat auntie who fetch me to kindie....she positively hates me....i am sure even in my super young mind i can feel her hatred brewing for me...i think its because i was an ugly, dark kid tat looks like ur neighbourhood bangla...plus i was pretty naughty....and i dun listen to people.a young rebel i must be...but i remembered her scolding me lar.....like everytime got prob go wrong i would be the one got scolding. in her old car, she put a tiny bench at the back seat...so we small kindie kids can sit like 2 rows at the back seat. half on the bench and half on the car cushion. i always sat on the cushion.so u can imagine what happen when it rained....the shoes of the kids who sat on the bench would be muddy and we sitting on the cushion would be dirty with muds.and the car no aircon. hot, stuffy with like mayb 5 to 8 girls behind!!!!jia lat.

the auntie dun like me to sit up on the bench.she said because i dunno how to sit properly on the bench and alwasy make the bench fell from its place. and all the other girls will also point their fingers at me cos auntie always scold me...its so easy to be the target for everything. i was too young to realise anything or get angry.
damn i was just plain stupid.

and i truly believes this is because i look ugly.

2008-04-26T20:50:00.003+08:00

holidays r wat i wanted and waited for evry time the sem starts...it'll be free of work and lotsa time to just relax....but somehow i'm so stressed now.....stressed cos nth to do !everyone, well most tat i'm closed to are either studying for their exam o having exam.....

no fun like tat...

i'm bored till i fell sick....woke up today with awfully painful face!

last sunday i went out with this fren of mine...he mmg teruk kept smoking n front of me and he drinks beer like water.but felt quite bad cos i refuse to drink...i shud just down a cup just to give face??but altho i really just took a few sips now and then, when i reach home my face were positively pinkish!imagine what will happen if i really drink!!!but i wanna try....hahaha.....i'll drink the whole bottle the next time and see what happens to me...
will i puke all over?or will i do silly things tat drunk ppl alwasy seems to do when they're drunk...i wanna know my drunkard personality..muahahaha....i mmg sungguh boliao!

....and i embarassed myself in karaoke...i totally can't sing!!!no voice!!!so mensiasuikan...i suck....i can't sing...i can't!u noe i felt totally ok when i dunno chinese but the only time i felt so left out when i dunno chinese is when k-ing....i wished i could just sing to the subtitles too u noe....tat's be fun....not like now, only know how to sing jay's song through memorizing...so no fun lor

i watched ah long pte.ltd ad....wanted to buy it yest when i went to pasar malam...but u ne what the vendor told me?the cd hasn't arrived...still in printing...mayb about 8p.m....haha...1st time heard this kinda stuff....still in printing!!

bought uncle bob chicken and kuey kak...oh i like....super SEDAP!!!long time no eat!

watched forbidden kingdom...not bad lor....but i dun see a point what is an ang moh kid doing in the movie...and the JADE EMPORER and SUN WU KONG speaks good english!!!!hahaha..jet li look stupid when he grinned....and the warlord uses metallic eye shadow...muahahaha

watched Over My Dead Body featuring my fave hot gurl Eva Longoria.....she's so cute and totally gorgeous...again....tat stupid guy..say he is grieving??/right after seeing a hot gurl he practically forget his vowed to live a solitary life....its not tat he shud live solitary life...but not so fast go fell for another lor...its not rite...must slow slow...

ok....seeing the post above, i realize i'm damn conservative, kampung style girl....and my face is so ugly nowadays....my hair is like can tie d....and my hair is not even 1 month old yet!!!can tie d....ish....my hair mmg grow too fast..like some alien hair of some sort...

2008-04-11T22:37:00.002+08:00

hahaha i'm so happy!i got an A- for my abnormal psycho mid term test!!!!now we just have to see what i get for my final!!!!!!

pics here!!!

2008-04-08T11:02:00.002+08:00

ok

maybe ot here here...since i still can't figured out how to post pics...(can't be bothered pun)....but here's some nonsensical pics of me....
going back to uni to study study....

how i :love: me life

p/s:phoebe, post more lar...very sien wan u noe when nothing to read!

2008-03-29T14:48:00.002+08:00

i'm home for less than 24 hours and had fought with my mother, again. i know i am rude, especially when i talk to her, but i just can't help it. that feeling of resentment and anger just explode everytime i talk to her.

she expect me to know everything and have time to do everything. like the income tax form. how am i suppose to know what to do with it?i've never fill any income tax form before in my life so how am i suppose to know?she expect me to know everything because i'm a uni student. i felt so pressured. all my relatives expect me to know everything. its so annoying.

when i ask her to ask my brother, she just change the topic and make it sound like i don't want to help her and that she will ask her frens.....like if my brother doesn't know then it is ok. but if i don't it is because i am selfish and i don't want to lend a hand. do u see the difference of perception here??

i am so angry. so so angry. the way she talks just annoys me. she always make herself sound like a helpless victim and i am the devil in the house. so so tired of this.

she never thought deeply why i seldom came home now. i rather stay alone in the hostel with nothing to do. she just thought i am hiding there because i don't want to help her. No mom, it is much more compicated than that. i remember every single word you said and i find it very hard to not think about all the hurtful things that you said to me.

i came back to study at home. not to have another pointless argument with you. home is the place i felt the most stress.

2008-03-25T06:52:00.003+08:00

guess what times is it. its almost 7a.m....
well well before u start thinking what am i doing here waking up so early and it isn't me, u're wrong. i did not slept the entire night. i took a nap at about 6p.m and woke up shortly before 9p.m. and i have difficulty initiating sleep after that. so what can a girl do when she can't sleep?
i sent a couple of messages....if u receive sms at odd hours, u know what i'm doing:P

i am so hungry and am so tired as well. in an hour's time i have french class and at 10.10a.m i have a mock interview.....hopefully i dun doze off.

man, i am s hungry. my stomach has been screaming for a few hours now but i refuse to eat. its mid morning k.....so its unhealthy to eat. but my stomach acid is puncturing my guts...ouch!

wow, can hear the birds chirping....i think i can see sun rising from the horizon....

my journal, my lab book, is a mess....it is much more complicated than i thought....sigh......so have no idea how to do it

but i really wanna finish them before thursday, so i can go home earlier, rest throughly for a couple of days before studying. i kenot get bad grades this sem....i just can't

2008-03-14T18:55:00.002+08:00

i've been feeling weird recently. my fren is now being friendly with a guy from my class. and i'm not really sharing her happiness.....mayb i am jealous?i sincerely felt tat she totally deserve a better guy than tat guy who is currently pursuing her.

well, its non of my business. wahtever makes her happy is good enuf.
tomoro i will be having another dinner.going for a makeover session before tat......
tat's all i guess....a post for a rainy day

2008-03-08T14:33:00.001+08:00

the sky is dark
an impending doom thunders nearby
strong winds are rushing, impatient
the birds have gone to rest
the single leaf on the dry oak tree
hanging strong, but will weaken

i felt so neglected

2008-03-02T15:36:00.002+08:00

seems like being a bitch is the way to go nowadays......but being a bitch comes with a price......and not everyone can be a bitch....

yesterday went out with my aunts.about tea time at 3p.m....as usual when they ordered food, i dunno y they would just randomly ordered a few plates of everything...they wont count who wanna eat or wat's not....they would just order.....and in my heart i was thinking...."i'll be forced to finish all teh food again" and i was right!

they called
char kuey teow x2,
laksa x2,
ais kacang x2,
jawa mee x2,
chai kuey x10
rojak x1
and another "ying liao"...........there were only 6 person.....and i noe my old aunts wont eat so much...the most they would eat is like 2 spoonfuls.....

so i ended up eating charkuey teow x1, jawa mee x1, chai kuey x1, a bit of rojak and a bit of the "ying liao"
and tat is a lot dee....
later in the evening, at about 7.30p.m went out with ah wei and charmaine to chow down some more pasembur....sheesh....

going back to uni today....

going to the kung fu dinner on saturady night
den will be going for the world beach clean up day on sunday....cleaning up beach......i've been wanting to do tat for some time...hahaa....i noe i'm weird..."mulia" as some says...muahahaha

i bought a "formal" shirt on friday in less than 20 minutes...tat was fast!i really just grab, tried, and paid....altho i dun really like it...but desperate times call for desperate measures......

den today hopefully can get some shoes before going back to uni....i have test on tuesday and i haven't studied for it!

2008-03-01T01:00:00.002+08:00

my stupid X crush...i was having this realy amusing conversation with him.....mayb it was the distance between us, both emotionally, physically and status...wel he is having a hell of a good time in CA while i have to toil in some local public uni.....

he sounded disappointed when i told him i am not currently seeing/interested in anyone.....and ask me to go all out and be a bitch to get their attention....

will post our conversation here later...

he is pissing me off

2008-02-26T21:47:00.002+08:00

i went back to tai ji training, after almost a month's break. i've been wanting to go back training earlier, but due to some mishaps, it had to be postponed....so yeah....hopefully i can finish learning all the taiji-kungfu fan steps before my senior graduate!seriously, he is the only one i could really trust!

neeway, on another topic, i had a super uber weird dream last night. the most prominent has been my messaging thru sms/msn(it was really the combination of both, cos i remember typing on a keyboard but it was sms-like) with my XXXX crush.....it was so long since i had any contact with him, and all of a sudden i dream of him!so magic lor!!!
and we chatted very decently, cordial and friendly!i was on cloud nine!but it was really weird lar....like he said he couldn't reply cos he can't get through the line, and he suddenly can message because there's a cut on his lips that has allowed a "hole" in the line, so we are able to talk....hahahaha...

i was so happieeee

and woke up with a neck ache....i really wanna know how i slept last night.

2008-02-19T13:11:00.001+08:00

2 more days to go and chinese new year will be officially over!
i came back to uni on monday evening...and has since been encountering a string of "sueiness" ....i think i "fan tai sui" lar...

let see...my sueiness starts early...on tuesday morning....8.a.m to be precise...as usual i was taking a ride on the bus...and as i was about to descend from the bus, i FELL.....tumbling down gloriously to the tar road beneath!ok not to say tumbled lar...i dunno how i exactly fell, but i noe it was when i was beginning to take the step down from the 3rd steps....i practically kneeled on the road.....den as i tried to get up, i realised my stupid *^&^$^%^&5 shoe is broken...that cheap shoe...never to believe in cheap things anymore...if they are too cheap to be true...den it is too cheap too be good also!

and so i skimp to the bus stop....my toes are so hurting i just dunno what to do or feel...all that i am feeling is excruciating pain from my toes, it was so painful but i couln't cry....i just sat there hugging my knees and hope that the pain will go away....
called marie...my saviour and asked her to bring me shoes...thanks!
after consoling my painful toe, i decided to limp up the next bus and sat bravely in pain to the clinic....the bus did not stop at the nearest bus stop, it stop like a distance away so i have to limp to the clinic....

although the clinic appears empty, the number i got was 42!and the doctor that was suppose to attend to me has only reach the number 20...a loooong wait i guess....suei lar....
at last it was my turn, after like 200 years.....it was still a mystery to me because only about 5 person went in before me and it took almost 2 hours!

so i skimp to see the doctor...i think i dun look too painful, that my facial expression fail to show the degree of the pain i'm feeling, and that i was talking in such a not-so-painful way, and that there are no trembling, quiver or tears on my cheek because the doctor dun seem to take my pain that seriously!ofcourse i insisted that it was painful, i proved it to her by limping more on my way out, and told her i hurt my bone. plus, the physical injury wasn't that serious, only a peeled skin on 2 or three places, so it looked like i was exaggerating my conditions.

hearing the seriousness of my toe condition, she suggested that i could take a X-ray scan to see if any bone was broken. i was a little happy...because that is exactly what i wanted her to say, i fear i will be crippled for life...she said it was for safety measures, in case there were broken bones, and since there are no prominent swelling on my toes, the worse case is i hurt my tendon or something.so i waited for like almost an hour before i can get my scan and the result...my feet is beautiful...i coudn't recognise my feeet!it does not look like feet bones, it look more like hand or even wing!!!muahaha....long long tiny toe bones i have...

after the x-ray, i went to see her and she just gave me painkillers....she was thinking of giving me shots, lucky she changed her mind!but just painkillers?????as i type my toe is still hurting

and i got my wounds washed and smeared with medicin and i limp all the way to the cafe near my hostel to buy my food. and continue the rest of the day lying in bed.

that's day 1 suei

den the next day, i discover i lost my student card!!!!!double suei ler......i tried to remain calm when i couldn't find it in my bag, i tried to calm my nerve when i couln't find it in my room....i told myself, it must have dropped somewhere along the track that i walk yesterday, so with my still painful toe, i back-trackked my route and found zero signs of my student card.....

y i would worry so much for a student card???cos it was also my bankcard....!!!!i really resign to fate dee....and plan to just apply for a new one which will cost me RM60....broke broke
saw marie and she suggest i make a report at the jabatan keselamatan....went on the next day, which is thursday, which also coincides with Valentine day.....i think Cupid or St.Valentine is my fairy god mother, cos after i made that report, the guard went to check the missing things list that has been found and brought there, and there it was!MY BELOVED CARD!

was so happy!feeling jubilant!triumphant!!!!!!!!!!!!!so so lucky!!!!!!!!!!so my card and me were like destinied to be with each other....although separated, we are united again!!!!!muahaha

so i shall end this post with a happy ending!

lovers dun find each other, they meet!
kiss kiss

2008-02-11T13:20:00.000+08:00

i thought i can go to bed early yeat (0130), but as went and laid on my bed i heard my mom received a phone call from that brat...he was in an accident....
he crashed into a STATIONARY waja..........idiot &^&**^%$#!!@#$^^&&^%$%&**^%OMGFFFIOSADHJAGFJAGDJDJA

u kenot imagine how angry i was last night. he thought he is the only one using the car issit?he is so accident prone.....and he have to drive like some crazy b******d on the road.and wat my mom said after seeing him....
"at least u r ok"
that;s it!no scolding or repremanding....just tat....
den when only wanna scold him?when he is not ok anymore????he will never learn k.....never.......argggghhggghhh

Y I HAVE THIS KINDA WOMAN IN THE HOUSE??

she scold me for the very very minor things........and when her son does something like tat..its totally ok.............................

##@!#$^&*^$@%%&^%$%)%%

2008-02-10T00:26:00.000+08:00

my kung fu night pix...

www.xanga.com/maybitslife

.............................................................................................................................................

its been an OK new year.....altho the hong bao is getting less and less, no thanks to my family reluctancy to visit some of our dear relatives....and me being busy with class......
its the usual steamboat......with even less ppl this year.....and very frugal dishes....if u just let my mom do stuff i wont be surprised if she just feed us water next year....

watched kung fu dunk...........seriously i do love love love and love JaY...but i like him more when he is singing...i just kenot stand his acting...its not bad lar...but mayb cos he is an IDOL.....he start to make stupid movie with storyline centered around him...its getting annoying....
initial D and Secret is good....

din get to watch anotehr chow's movie...CJ7........think have to wait till i go back to uni dee....wait for my Stephen....he looked so old d......pls get MARRIED!!!i;m sounding like his mother!

new year has been going out and hanging out with frens most of teh time....take today for example.....play cards whole day......got win and got lose......but i think i lost more money than winning.....

gotta know lim wei's cute brother....haha ling zhi...phoebe, just give him ur pic...i think he's damn proud got one jie jie so pretty..hehehe

2008-02-08T21:02:00.000+08:00

haih haih
happy chinese new year!!!!lets all live a ratty life this year:P

i can't believe i did this!i actually went as ar as messaging and adding some ppl i saw for two days when they came to my uni for a debate competition......
I MESSAGED SOMEONE I DON"T KNOW!!!
it's almost stalking...but its far worse than stalking cos when u stalk someone u like its different...this one....i tak tau lah how to cakap....
my brain mmg seciput only.....

actually, lookin at the overall picture, i'm just an "over friendly stranger"......but dunno y i am overcome with this strong sense of embarassement......macam super malu......ki siao malu....

neeway.....chinese new year break is almost over now...left a few more days nia...must shake my leg secukupnya....
anyone know how to ward off evil spirits and orang minyak???do let me know...i'm super terrified of it!!!

2008-01-24T23:05:00.001+08:00

Seems like it was yesterday
When I saw your face
You told me how proud you were,
But I walked away
If only I knew what I know today

I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I wanna call you
But I know you won't be there

Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you

Some days I feel broke inside
But I won't admit
Sometimes I just wanna hide
'Cause it's you I miss
And it's so hard to say goodbye
When it comes to this, ooh

Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes
And see you looking back

Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself, oh

If I had just one more day
I would tell you how much that I've missed you
Since you've been away
Ooh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line
To try and turn back time

I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself..
By hurting you.....................

i am not eager to celebrate any new year or any occasion for tat matter...for me...any occasion has become meaningless..it wont be the same...it will never be.how can it be?
when i think of steamboat and chinese new year decorations.....its something that my Dad loved to do most......without him where is the meaning in celebrating a new year?

2008-01-20T22:42:00.000+08:00

the months of practise and sweatings have finally ended.....the performance is over and i can't help but feel this sudden emptiness.....no more practise of the 24 short yang style???altho i've grown to detest it for something that had been done repeatedly for so long sure bear some kind of boreDOOM in it...but i will definitely missed it....!!!!
now i shall concentrate on my Tai Ji Kung Fu Fan...hopefully i can learn from my hiao hiao senior Jian and not the otehr stern senior...

my aunt decided to visit me yesterday..sigh...so i was having a terribly bad mood and i felt dizzy before i went on stage....so i apply lotsa minyak angin on the temple of my head... the first time i'm doing it....felt like my grandma...
i did some stupid mistake on stage...i was wearing my tarcksuit which i do not like very much....and for fear of stepping on it i zipped it up...at the leg there...i think i zip too much because when i wet down the pant's leg kinda come up and stuck there, showing a little of my leg....so in order to make my pants go back down i tried to push it and in doing so making the next pose an almost disaster!and the thing is the pants is still up my leg!!!!!!!!
but the pants went down gradually lar...thankful!!!

the backdrop of the Kung Fu night was done by my dear L....muahaha..he is so hot!!!!his body is so sexy!!!!!!

my watery eye X crush finally noe my anme....but i think by this time he has already forgotten....sigh

2008-01-16T22:30:00.000+08:00

ha....the date for my "performance is so near i can taste it...19 of january..
anyway...i am so antisocial....i tried to mingle but i'm just not good enuf

neeway, borrowed this book called PHANTOM ENCOUNTERS and it seems that if u wished for something really really hard, the person u wishes to see might actually appear before u....and u can actually have a "pet"of some sort from the unliving if u concentrate very very hard...and ofcos u need high level of mental and self discipline.....

so if any of u guys saw me somewhere i'm not suppose to be, try to touch me..mayb i am really just apparition and nothing more..hehehe

2008-01-04T09:55:00.000+08:00

yest, when i was half dozing off....i suddenly thought about how my He used to speak....and it suddenly hit me hard, like a torpedo fired at 200km/h.....that i would never had that chance again....
all i had was a memory of Him...there will never be any present from him ever...and that he is really GONE
no matter how hard i kept telling myself everything is ok...and THAT never happens...but the fact was it did happen and my life had changed no matter how much i detest it and no matter how i fear the fact...
it remains a REALITY that i cannot escape from....a reality i had to accept...

i just dunno when

2008-01-01T12:10:00.000+08:00

new year has arrived......
but i have nothing to be joyful about.how can i rejoice whne there is not a single happy thing that has been going on?
another year, another new day...what is the difference?

i have given up hope that things will be better soon, because soon is too long for me.

2008 cheers!

2007-12-24T20:15:00.000+08:00

tis the season to be jolly la la la la la~la la la l
its been 6 months and sometimes i tend to forget the fact......

i miss you a lot
have a merry time

2007-12-21T16:36:00.000+08:00

i have successfully injured my leg!now i can totally qualified to be a member of the "kai pang" or the legendary beggars society in the wu xia pien!

2007-12-15T16:24:00.000+08:00

ahem...i am learning TAI JI QUAN right now....currently working on the 24 Chen Fa,Yang style....shocking rite...the slowpoke me actually taking up tai ji...
i went reluctantly.....only muscle ache and the feeling of giving up accompanied me throughout the trainin.....and i tot it will just be like that....
till our seniors trick us and brought us to sunshine w/o informing us....so half of us went in our usual smelly tracksuit.................imagine.....no wonder the senior remind us to take our bath...suspicious...!!
den later trick us again.....actually they prepared a picnic for us.!
and dunno y we start to pair ppl up....some randomly some not so....and i was paired with this senior tat i kutuk banyak.....becos he was so slow all the time...and i have o idea y he pick me...mayb i too low profile d......
altho it was just a silly game...but i kinda realise i start to pay more attention to him......mayb tat is y i am pretty crushed when he is friendlier to my fren...sigh.....

2007-12-06T11:15:00.000+08:00

i'm back to penang,back to my old sweet penang......been travelling a bit for the past week......it was a spontaneous spree cos i really din plan ahead...i just go with the flow....and it turned out great.....went to shop with Phoebe in Pavillion, saw the I wanna be a model's judge Christopher....he look exactly like on-screen.......mayb i was expecting hom to look worse without all the lighting and make up...haha

went to Lagoon too.....i've at least conquer my fear.......but too bad the safari or animal zoo is closed by the time we wanna went in.....i kinda wanna see the animals......
before we went to Lagoon, we embark on a few hours jorney to Genting.....we reach at 7p.m.....by the time we get ready, all the shops were closed d....so we just walke around and went into Casino(i dunno Y so many wanna go In), archade center den back to the hostel.....it was so chilly and it was raining.....the thickness of the fog....the chilly night air......it was the perfect setting for a depressed mood....but i kinda like it.....and no i'm not depressed...haven't checked out my result yet....i bet it sucks....

oh and a must mention.....the buffet steamboat in sunway......the chicken wing is delicious....i know i can gorge many of them if its not for its rarity......it were all snatched up as it was served....so its very hard to get those precious wings.....

den i went south t malaca...i took the LRT bravely alone to Masjid Jamek....i know lah its no biggie....but this is my first time aone taking LRT leh....and when i reached Masjid Jamek station i have no idea where is Pude at all.....plus i haven't bought my ticket.....so i was standing there for a few minutes just staring into the crowds and trying to se which directions there were going...i asked around and the did show me the direction...but what i couldn't believe was how far the station was from Pudu......i bet its around 10 to 15 minutes of walk......

everything looked unfamiliar and scary....because i was thinking about snatch theft and pickpockets.....bt at last i reached...and bought the wrong ticket....that wrong ticket cst me an extra half an hour of bus ride.....but anyhoo reached malaca at about 9.20p.m.....

luckily my sweet fren is there......i have a lot to thanked her...she made my Malaca trip so memorable and fun.....we went straight to Jonker Street after i reached......it was awesome lah...so many ppl and so many stalls.....met up with her frens....not bad looking...muahahah....i was so paiseh....we walked around, scrutinizing every stalls there.....and we reached this stalls selling surprise wooden boxes.....and many plastic reptiles and arachnids......so i was opening the boxes and a scary looking arachnids jumped out....i had found the perfect gift!!!hahaha.....den the irl behind the stall asked me to try another box.....i felt strange as in why the handle is metal instead of wood like the rest..but my curiosity got the better of me so i opened it...and was shocked by electric!!!!!so so kebas leh my fingers after tat.......after tat i was kinda scared to toughed anything d....den my fren's fren...."RED SKY" came over and brought out this bottle of candy....it look just like a bottle of candy lah....but since i was just freshly shocked by electric...and he look suspicious i didn't wanna touch it......after much coaxing from him, my fren finally took the bottle from him...and as she was trying to open the cap....

she was shocked...!teruking lar......after the two traumatic experince, u'll think tat we had learned the lessons.......Red SKY den took a lighter from the stall ... it doesn't seems to contain any trickery cos the lighter did light up fire...and he seems to have no problem lighting it again and again...so i tot...mayb it was not a trick liao la......but it felt suspicious when this fella just kept wanting you to try.....

anyway, i did try lor.....and this time the current that jolt me was stronger....i screamed really loud and dropeed the freaking lighter onto the road......and i can see heads turning at our directions.....malu....and i was shocked and screamed twice in less than an hour....will definitely remember him...cis

after tat leh, my fren's fren...Ming said lets go yumcha....so we ma ok lr...he said wanna go Bar....den we aslo say ok lor....so he brought us to this Sunshine Bar......and my fren totally freaked out...hahaha...it was funny lar.....she was so freaked out she pulled me away after we saw the place...it was crowded with teenage girls trying to dance???they were more like jumping chicken who's tossed into boiling water lor....so cacated the way the "dance"...if u can call tat a dance lar...even kindy children can dance better lor.....anyweee, the bar looked more like a club, but ming kept insisting its a Bar...cos well, its written Sunshine Bar.....but i swore it looked more like an open club!!!

2007-11-25T22:46:00.000+08:00

i had a dream of JACKIE WU.....now i know i'm nuts
i've been painting my toilet and bathroom for two conscutive days...all by myself...yea...so proud of myself
going kl in 2 days time...
XoX

2007-11-23T18:19:00.001+08:00

i'm really jealous with those who can just lay on their bed or anything for tat matter and fell asleep in like 10 minutes......how could they??!!!and some pitiful ppl like(moi) who tossed and toil on their bed and no matter how comfy my bed is it just don't have the sleep factor on it...sigh.....

i have no homework...no work....all i ned to do is find internship which i did not find any because i dunno where to...so i shud be able to sleep soundly rite???sigh...
my complexion really gone from bad to worse...

i am so hideous so all i can do is hide n my house because i dunwanna scare anyone....huhuhu

anyweeee...

bought my bus ticket d so will be going off to kl on 28th at 0730......den hopefully everything will be fine,meeting tat boney creature phoebe....den we're off to genting.....muahahaha

den come down, meeting tat "beautiful orchard" charmaine......den off to malaca, meeting my fren "shi wen, wen rou"...hahahaha.....name shirou....
gosh i'm so crazy...and i never took the bus alone before and i dare to go so many places.....ki siao totally....

and i'm a level 32 wizard!!!find me in aquila maplesea...muahaha...so childish me

2007-11-22T14:29:00.001+08:00

i had a dream a few nights ago.....a dream that i had not had for a very long time.....in my dream, i saw HIM again....i dunno Y i can dream of him because for the longest time i haven't heard any news from him or about him...the last "communication" if u can count giving a comment on my birthday communication was...weeks ago...

but there he was in my dream. and the venue of our meeting was my old dear Convent st. Marguerite.....i have no idea y we plan to meet there. but one thing is obvious in my dream, tat he just came back and we plan to meet up. so we met. in dream.

he was friendly and warm to me.....and i treated him like a real good old friend too....no awkward moments at all.....its weird cos there is no awkwardness in the way we communicate, the way we played with each other, it felts like its meant to be....it felt so right!REALLY
I've never felt "right" in my past encounters with other guys....like i did with him. its like we're two pieces of jigsaw pieces that fits perfectly....and i am comfortable!

so we walk a bit,play and joke like time stops since the last time we saw each other...(but i was terribly nervous and shy at that time, so i was quiet). then he saw some of his pals from the states whom actually follwed him back here...haha...so i left him alone...but later i saw him again and we started to talk again....

the dream has no intimacy or watsoever, no content of a overs dream but what i'm trying to say is...being with his seems like the best and the right thing to do....

sigh...
if only he felt this way

2007-11-13T19:08:00.000+08:00

yeahoo....
exam is finally over!!!!
birthday also over liao...so now legally adult...can't depends on others much d...must grow UP!!
anyhooo...
thanks to all my dearies for wishing me......

but

but

i am so surprised tat HE of all ppl...also wish ler....muahahahahaha
definitely one of the best pressie ever!!!!!!
and ur pressie too bubbles....ths star linked heart earings...love it!!!

2007-11-04T00:00:00.000+08:00

5 papers down and one more to go....wat a horrible way to spend a week!!!it was so horrible that i had headache since friday and wats worse i couldn't slept at night when i really wanted to sleep.....sheesh...i hate exams.....!!!

the reason i'm back here...ofcos i miss my laptop a lot muahaha...the nly entertainment i have was my roommie in the room and she well, this is the first time she had been so serious in studying for exam, so i shud not kacao her so much lah....so i am back lor

i think there is something wrong with the food in the cafetaria near my hostel..i mean the rice smells cheap and look less than appealing.and seriously the rice took a long time to digest, especially at night....i think that is one of the cause of my tummy ache this past two days....
i am really so proud of myself..studying for 2 papers in a day....heavy subject summo leh..one is my minor paper, basics in psychology and another my elective paper, techniques in biotechnology....pray hard that i did not do so badly in both...what's embarrasing was i got the most wrong for the biological part for the psycho paper....and i am a bio student leh...but the questions ask about neurones(tat one i noe a bit la), but when it reach stuff about brains and systems i totally blank lor....cos i din really read tat part haha....but at least one of the essay questions came out, as i suspected!!!!

anyway, altho the warning on the book says not to diagnose urself with every symptoms u read on the book, but i begun to understand myself more as i took up psychology. tat is one of the main reason i took up this minor anyway, to learn why i think and behave in certain way and how i can help myself.....

i noe its not a proud thing to say and many might just take it as a joke, but i do have a rather unpleasing childhood. the early realationship that i kenot build with my parents are affecting me now, in the way i socialise. i had a hard time in trusting, opening up and getting intimate with ppl....what shud i do?i really dunwanna be this way...

2007-10-26T18:38:00.000+08:00

today i did not even touch the books...
went to CBM(love the initial...CBM) took my 1119 cert...frens, u have to take urself, the clerk dun allowed me to take for u guys....gomen ya...

phoebe is back to BM......welcome back
*hugzzz
*kisses

2007-10-18T13:07:00.000+08:00

OMIGAWD

it's THURDSDAY olredi and i havent freakin read for real!!!!!!sheesh!!!this is so bad i really gotta start reading and revising for real...no more fooling around. i can't afford to get my heart crushed agagin.......
somebody, quick slap me awake!
so hopefully, no post till exam is over.....no more post geddit DoLL! no more!!!

p/s: Phoebe, get well soon!

2007-10-17T18:43:00.000+08:00

i have a new addiction recently...that is facebook!gosh i am still in the process of figuring out wat is it all about and it got me on my toes....seriously...so there goes my study plans......i am just so dead....
woke up at almost 2p.m......i felt so guilty!today was supposed to be my study day....and i woke up outrageously in the afternoon!!!!!!!!!!!!!damn the ginseng tea i took yesteday. it is all my own fault. drank tea at night. sigh...
i must not go face-booking anymore...............!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-10-16T14:28:00.000+08:00

i've been going to bed really late and waking up equally late.....at noon....and haven't start studying at all....i am so gonna flunk and its all because of my lack of motivation. today mark the one week that i have been home...also mark the one week i did nothing but movie straming, blogging, frenstering, neopetting and blogreading....sigh..my favourite bloggers seems to have change their blogging scedule to like once a million years...i'm bored.*yawn

yesterday night, uh hum..i mean morning...i decided to change my sleeping habit once and for all...i set my phone alarm to wake me up at 10.30a.m, and watch my animes till about 2.30a.m...that way, i reasoned i'll be so so so tired for the entire day and as a result will go to bed early...heheh..am i brilliant or wat???*smug*

Lovely Complex has ended...goodbye Otani-kun, Koizumi-chan.....
Claymore has also ended...sayonara Clare, Teresa...
my life is empty deee.......
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i did something marvellous yesterday. i use HAIR shampoo to wash my body. really nyanyuk dee lah......age is really catching up.
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washed my bedsheet, pillow-case and blanket....popi popi wont rain lar...but nowadays the weather very hard to predict lor....furthermore now is the 9 jade emperor festival, and it seems it always rain around this time of the year....

2007-10-15T17:49:00.000+08:00

to the man i love

ur hand is the first hand i ever hold,
i dun remember it, but the memory was engraved.
in the passage of time, the road so sacred,
we can only walk it once,
and never pass it again.

the memory we shared,
countless and precious as it is,
i thought we will still be collecting,
and adding it to our future,
never once did i thought it will stop,
so sudden, so sudden.

i never thought much,
about the love u gave,
so ever ready, so everlasting,
ur presence has always been there,
protecting me in the shadow.

you had always been my pillar,
i count on u for everything,
i knew u will always support me,
with ur strength, ur love
u always go all out for me,
and all u ask was a smile,
and to know i will try my best.

when i'm all lost, drowned in trouble,
i just need to call for u,
and u will be there to save me.
u had always been a hero,
my hero that save my world,
again and again,
but i never knew u were one,
till the day my world collapse,
and u were not there for me, anymore.

we bicker and we quarrel,
many times, many times,
i blamed u for so much,
and u forgave me so much,
it must be hurtful,
very, very,
sorry is all i can say,
and hope the winds will carry my words to u.

never did i thought it were so hard,
i thought it will be over,
and my world wont change a bit,
ur presence had never been loud,
like the sound of crickets, birds and frogs,
taken for granted, never been bothered,
but once it stop,
u'll be overwhelmed by a sudden stillness,
so lonely, so quiet, so lifeless
over the horizon, nothing more but emptiness.

now i stare into the darkness of the night,
and listen to the quiet sound of the wind,
wish it was all a horrible dream,
and wake up smiling but with cloud upon me.

i thought i am over u,
i thought i am okay without u,
i thought i am not dependent on u,
i thought i had it with u,
but no, how wrong i was,
i had always loved u, always, always,
the love might be blurred with my pride,
and covered with sand with every tide,
but it was always there, solid and real.

i knew u were important,
much so when i needed u,
when i lost u that day,
that fated day when u walk away,
i knew it was not goodbye,
cos i will see u again,
someday, somewhere.

and i will pass to u my memory of u,
and hope u can give me urs too...

me and movies

2007-10-14T00:10:00.000+08:00

movies, well yeah i do love them...especially comedies.......i grew up watching Hong Kong movies a lot.I remember the first time i laid my eyes on my Stephen Chow, i was just a silly five or six year old but i like him....to the extent of repeatedly watching his movie...yah just one movie at that time tat i'd known off....its Tricky Master or something like tat(cheng gu chuin ka)...!!!and my next idol is Andy Lau.....i always had preferred him over Leon Lai and Aaron Kwok....dunno why also....

maybe because of my "puppy love" for Stephen Chow's slapstick comedy, i grew up loving mostly comedies...

horror and sci-fi?i admit, i used to love them as well, and actually thought a lot about their storyline and content, and i'll be going yaya, uhm uhm...that's right at watever theories they are proposing.....Jaws is the first movie that had a lasting impression on me...i remembered scaring out my little guts for the few monhs after watching it. i dare not venture near the bathroom alone in case the shark jump out of it and eat me. i will cautiosly stare at the tub, when i'm doing my business, when i'm showering and even when i'm wearing my clothes...most of the time i'll just dash out of the bathroom as soon as i can grabbing my clothes out with me without wearing them.....i was really scared out of my life....!but slowly, a few more of my brain cells stat to funcion and logic tells me that a 10 metre long shark can't possible emerge from my concrete tub....and the shark will prob get stuck at my tiny tub!

the second horror movie that i watch, well i think its a japanese one, with stories revolving around bathroom....i hate scary ghost stories with bathroom/toilet scene....it feels like those will almost certainly came true coz bathroom/toilet are creepy places.......

as i grow up, i can't stand watching these anymore, not because i'm scared of them, no. and they don't haunt me like they used to too. i just find them illogical, and their story doesn't make sense. especially stories with climate change, freezing fire and stuff like tat.how can u freeze fire in the first place?fire is energy. its gas. i noe gas can be frozen, but freezing fire?and more outrageosly retaining the "shape" of the fire???????nonsense!!

and time-travelling.......if they tell it in a way that can make sense, ok lor i accept. but to me, the past is EVERYTHING that had HAPPENED before. so if time-travelling is real, then if u travel from the future to the past, it is suppose to happen that way. and the future that u wanna change is actually ur future and they never changed because it shud happen that way. coz nothing can change the past. the past that u tot u changed is actually the present that is happening.

chick-flicks....they are dumb to the core...just for laughs but watch too often and u'll suffer brain-jam

romance..no they are never overrated!it teaches ppl how to dream, how to hope and how to feel in this cruel world. all the stories about finding ur true one, ur other half, lines like we are meant for each other, we complete each other and etc...so sweet desu neh??well, i dunno about u guys, but i held strong onto my believe that i can live happily ever after, growing old together and holding hands as we walk towards the golden sunset together,with my other half(malu) well they are my secret(now not so secret anymore)dreams..............especially digs korean movies.....they always have one and only one theme.....ONE LOVE ONE LIFE

2007-10-12T20:26:00.000+08:00

woke up as usual at around noon....gosh, when u have nothing to do, u have no reason to wake up! so wonder around, heard my mom coming back and prepared myself for another round of nagging!!!!what can i do?if u have a mom whose favourite past time is to find fault and nag at everything u did, either u're doing it or u had done it eons ago or stuff u haven't done......what can u do??just bare with her lor....

although i've been "doing nothing", my heart actually are loaded with worries.......worries about my finals that is in 2 weeks time......i dun usually worry about finals.....maybe because my test result is pretty good in the past, that kind of gave me the confidence....but this time its different! my test, its horrible....all i could do is stare blankly at the questions and scratch my head...i scratch my head a lot this semester.....almost on the verge of becoming a crazy woman ad...

but still, i have no mood watsover to start studying...i've mark after raya as my studying week so i'm sticking to it....y my will only works on things that is not important?i should start as early as possible......but starting early also means that i will get bored early and forgets everything in a snap...i need a lock!a LOCK to keep everything that i read inside!!!

And a will to read. i dun have a will to read. i have a will for many things but just not the will to read.i can also remember lots of things....my memory capacity is endless........i always shock ppl with the things that my brain can remember.....but WHY?oh WHY?i just can't remember any facts that i read!
its a curse, a jinx