Seems like it was yesterday
When I saw your face
You told me how proud you were,
But I walked away
If only I knew what I know today

I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I wanna call you
But I know you won't be there

Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you

Some days I feel broke inside
But I won't admit
Sometimes I just wanna hide
'Cause it's you I miss
And it's so hard to say goodbye
When it comes to this, ooh

Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes
And see you looking back

Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself, oh

If I had just one more day
I would tell you how much that I've missed you
Since you've been away
Ooh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line
To try and turn back time

I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself..
By hurting you.....................

i am not eager to celebrate any new year or any occasion for tat matter...for me...any occasion has become meaningless..it wont be the same...it will never be.how can it be?
when i think of steamboat and chinese new year decorations.....its something that my Dad loved to do most......without him where is the meaning in celebrating a new year?

the months of practise and sweatings have finally ended.....the performance is over and i can't help but feel this sudden emptiness.....no more practise of the 24 short yang style???altho i've grown to detest it for something that had been done repeatedly for so long sure bear some kind of boreDOOM in it...but i will definitely missed it....!!!!
now i shall concentrate on my Tai Ji Kung Fu Fan...hopefully i can learn from my hiao hiao senior Jian and not the otehr stern senior...

my aunt decided to visit me yesterday..sigh...so i was having a terribly bad mood and i felt dizzy before i went on stage....so i apply lotsa minyak angin on the temple of my head... the first time i'm doing it....felt like my grandma...
i did some stupid mistake on stage...i was wearing my tarcksuit which i do not like very much....and for fear of stepping on it i zipped it up...at the leg there...i think i zip too much because when i wet down the pant's leg kinda come up and stuck there, showing a little of my leg....so in order to make my pants go back down i tried to push it and in doing so making the next pose an almost disaster!and the thing is the pants is still up my leg!!!!!!!!
but the pants went down gradually lar...thankful!!!

the backdrop of the Kung Fu night was done by my dear L....muahaha..he is so hot!!!!his body is so sexy!!!!!!

my watery eye X crush finally noe my anme....but i think by this time he has already forgotten....sigh

ha....the date for my "performance is so near i can taste it...19 of january..
anyway...i am so antisocial....i tried to mingle but i'm just not good enuf

neeway, borrowed this book called PHANTOM ENCOUNTERS and it seems that if u wished for something really really hard, the person u wishes to see might actually appear before u....and u can actually have a "pet"of some sort from the unliving if u concentrate very very hard...and ofcos u need high level of mental and self discipline.....

so if any of u guys saw me somewhere i'm not suppose to be, try to touch me..mayb i am really just apparition and nothing more..hehehe

yest, when i was half dozing off....i suddenly thought about how my He used to speak....and it suddenly hit me hard, like a torpedo fired at 200km/h.....that i would never had that chance again....
all i had was a memory of Him...there will never be any present from him ever...and that he is really GONE
no matter how hard i kept telling myself everything is ok...and THAT never happens...but the fact was it did happen and my life had changed no matter how much i detest it and no matter how i fear the fact...
it remains a REALITY that i cannot escape from....a reality i had to accept...

i just dunno when

new year has arrived......
but i have nothing to be joyful about.how can i rejoice whne there is not a single happy thing that has been going on?
another year, another new day...what is the difference?

i have given up hope that things will be better soon, because soon is too long for me.

2008 cheers!