foolish Jill story

Jill was having problems on her 1st day at her part time. she promised her friend that she will substitute her for the weekend and that weekend is also Jill's 1st time as a promoter. but she was already having dificulty. the guard refused to let Jill enter, saying there's no authorization and so on. so Jill waited for her supervisor to arrive. as her supervisor was taking quite some time to arrive, Jill decided that she would make the time usefula and walked around.

when she arrive back at the checkpoint, she was greeted by an angry supervisor. beside her was a rather cool looking boy. "oh boy" she thought to herself, this seems to be a beginning of a very bad day. she was allowed to enter soon after. the boy had troubles for he wanted to keep his bag at the counter which the guard doesn't seem very happy about. so Jill enter the premise 1st, and waited for the boy at the entrance.

"are you waiting for me?"asked the boy when he saw Jill standing there. Jill nodded and they both walked together to their counter.

soon, the boy and Jill were freinds. the boy will often visit Jill at her counter. Jill felt happy for her 1st day at work, she had met a new friend. they went for break together with another girl whom they just met and talked for 2 hours. after that they met up more often just to laze around. as their friendship grew, Jill learnt that the boy has very good voice.

he would sing and Jill will be very happy listening to it. his voice was so angelic, so calming and Jill had fallen for his voice. soon after, they lose touch, but Jill saw his msn so she added him, happy knowing she can still keep in touch with the boy with the wonderful voice.

the boy's personanality online shocked Jill because she never thought he would be able to talk like that. they chatted a few times, and by then Jill has had a crush on the boy. she made her happy and she likes him. her fondness for him only grew as the day passed.

Jill went back to school and lose contact with the boy because he was never online anymore
Jill was sad.she still talkes about her cute boy with wonderful voice form time to time.

one day while working part time, she saw her boy again. she was beyond excited. no words can describe her feelings that day. her heart fluttered, endorphines rushed through her veins like the strongest current could have, and she was on cloud nine.

she only saw him, and not the girl beside him. her friend prophesized that she might be his girl because she doesn't look like his sister, which she has seen before.

immediately, like Hiroshima and Nagasaki after the bomp dropped, her heart sank beyond the deepest trench, and shattered into a gazillion of dust. she was immediately shrouded by glooming black sky, with crows and thunder clouds screaming for apocalypse to arrive. her soul felt like it had just been stepped by a giant elephant and kicked by an antelope.

when the boy passed again, Jill's friend teased the boy about his alledge girlfriend. he deny and said it was his sister. Jill was estatic! but still, the boy talked to her friend more then her which mads her sad. but later the boy walked over and asked Jill for her number. Jill was so nervous that her body trembled and her voice shivered while giving him her numbers.

Day in and day out, she dream of the boy calling her, or at least messaging her, but the boy never did. slowly, hope drained out of Jill's spirit.

one day, the boy suddenly called Jill out of the blue. Jill do not have time to react because she don't have the boy's number, but at last, at the most unpredicted moment, he called.
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Jill couldn't stop grinning and laughing the entire time they chatted. she immediately forgets about her incoming exam due the day after. all she could think of was the boy, how sweet, how cute, how charming the boy was.

Jill promised the boy she would visit him at his part time work place. but after that call, the boy did not really keep in touch with Jill, except an odd good night message. this makes Jill kinda pissed because she was already dreaming of the boy and he did not do anything.

but Jill was also to be blamed. Jill too did not do anything to for the boy.

Jill was a conservative person. Jill always believed that the guy should take action. so all she will do is wait. is this wrong??

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a love to fight for is a love worth it!

its been awhile since i'm here

today is the 7th of november, the eve of my birthday. nothing spectacular happened, it is like all the other days in my life, empty and uneventful. i really wanna just sleep through my birthday, i really wanna escape the day. its more like i refuse to grow up. the years are adding onto my life and i have not done or achieved anything spectacular.

i'm still the same, lazy and not willing to sacrifice to achieve anything. even in my studies, i'll discount myself and give myself the minimal amount of days for study. what did i do with my extra days??i have no idea. i have led a life without purpose all these while, till the extent that when something does happen i'll be surprised myself.

i'm a person with split personality. one is burried deep inside me, another is the person that's my shell. the person inside me wanted to change, wanted to accomplish and wanted to take risk. the person inside me is crying, is vulnerable and insecure.

but this person is deep inside me, in the middle of a maze with tangling and scattered with broken dreams, shattered hopes and surrounded by a thick smoke of emptiness.

the other me is the mirror of the other me. whatever the imprisoned me wanted to do, it'll try to oppose to it, by giving lame excuses and playing on the insecurities that the imprisoned me felt. usually, the other me won.

every YES that i wanted to say naturally when it reaches my mouth it'll become a NO. every confessions are turned to ignorance. every truthful admiration are turn into frowns that will makes me feel guilty. how many opportunities have i lost because of this??

but i do not blame this other me. she only wanted to protect me, shield me from further pain.

as i'm turning a year older, i wish that i could loosen up, be more accepting and more grateful for all the things that are happening. i'll try to keep my temper and i'll open up a little to the world.

this is a rather sombre pre-birthday post, thus i shall post some happy contradictory pictures!!

pre-birthday celebration at Chillis and a pre-birthday movie Tropic Thunder

i wished i could own the world